Fifty Shades of Grey

I have been asked by many parents of teenagers if it is alright for their child to read FIFTY SHADES OF GREY, and currently if it is all right for them to see the movie.  NO.  The book is about a young, naive, recently graduated college student with insecurity and abandonment issues.  She meets a slightly older, insecure man with even stronger abandonment issues who has learned to compensate by being beyond successful in business and becoming a billionaire.  The man is also into bondage.  Boy meets girl and they try not to fall in love as they are very different and the girl does not like to be controlled, punished, and given pain as part of their sexual experience and he feels that while he can give her some of what she wants sexually, his needs must be met.  As the story unfolds over the trilogy, there are very explicit descriptions of their sexual behavior and the basis of their relationship appears to be sexual.  He dominates and she tries to break free.  He loosens up some and they get married and live in a mansion and have a couple of children.  They engage in a sexual life style that is outside the norm for most people.  This is just not the book to introduce love and sexuality to teens, both boys and girls.  If you allow your high school student, who is probably already confused and conflicted about sexuality to read this book, you are providing a very slanted view. There is a part of the book where the girl, Anna, thinks about liking her partner’s control and protectiveness, as long as she can handle it.  Again, this does not reflect a healthy, mature relationship.  As for the movie, it is rated R, so it is not as sexually explicit as the books, but it also does not leave anything to the imagination and the dynamics in the movie are the same as in the book.  I would not introduce a young teen to this movie.  However, a young adult over the age of 17 has probably already formulated some idea of their sexuality based on their exposure to the media and their own initial exploration.  If your older teen does read the books or see the movie, it might be helpful for them if you have a conversation about the story and why it is not healthy and only represents a very small part of the population.

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