ACCEPTING HELP GRACEFULLY

 There are many of us who are quite happy to give help and enjoy the role of caretaker.  It makes us feel good to help someone else.  However, there is a subset of us who are not comfortable accepting help from others.  We are concerned that we are a burden, we feel guilty that someone may have spent money on us or gone out of their way to do us a favor.  The bottom line, however, is that a balanced relationship allows us to be on both sides of help and sometimes we just need to be gracious and say “Thank you”.  This means not constantly or frequently telling the other person how sorry you are for inconveniencing them and accepting their help at face value.  Helping you allows the other person to also experience the joy of helping and actually creates a better balance in the relationship if you have been able to help them in the past.  All this being said, even when offering or accepting help, we need to have healthy boundaries.  Don’t accept help that you know will absolutely hurt the other person and don’t offer help that you know you either can not afford to offer or will hurt you and your family in some way.  There are times we want to help, but what we can offer may not be realistic for our current life situation. 

However, the strength of emotional support can never be underestimated.  Even small measures of help can have a tremendous impact on the other person.  For example, a phone call or visit, sending over dinner or inviting someone over for dinner.  This allows the other person to know you care.  If you are on the receiving end of this type of help, understand the other person is giving what they can based on where their life is and know they are thinking about you and you are not alone.  Remember, when someone wants to help you, they care.  Let them care.


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