Holidays and Children

It is that time of year.  Holidays and family and friends and food and shopping and celebrating and trying to decide what is all right to give to children and what is over the top.  This topic actually comes up a lot in therapy.  I think there are many ways to make the holidays about appreciation and giving and sharing, not just receiving.  If your child (children) are like many children in our culture, they have so many toys they don’t even know what to play with.  It is hard for them to even have a favorite.  In our times of electronics, our children are also missing out on basic toys that are still a lot of fun.  If your children make a wish list, explain to them that it is a wish list and not a guaranteed list.  Also explain to them that even Santa will not give them things on their list that are not age appropriate or logistically reasonable, such as a water side in your patio.  Have your children write out some of the holiday cards and even help with holiday baking.  Go through all their toys and any that are kindly used that they no longer want, wrap up and donate.  There are many shelters and foster homes that can really use those toys.  Have your child earn a few dollars and buy a new gift to donate.  If your child receives any duplicates or items they do not really want, request that they do not open them, they can be donated as well, even if it is after the holidays.  

This also makes room for their new items.  Teach your child to write thank you notes; a lost art, but one that is still very much appreciated by the recipient.  If old enough, have your child go with you to a food pantry or shelter to help feed the homeless.  It is so important that children who have a lot grow up appreciating what they have and grow up with a sense of sharing versus a sense of entitlement.  The question I am asked the most is about electronics.  Does your child need the newest version of everything?  I think not.  If your child has an I-phone 4, they really do not need an I-phone 5.  I’m not sure they really needed the I-phone 4 to begin with.  Remember, if you give your child everything now, what do they have to look forward to or work toward?  Also, if they are not as monetarily as successful as you, life may be bitter for them.  If you want to buy them the new model of something, great, but maybe not the new model of everything they own.  And by the way, when they get that new board game and don’t have any idea how to play it because it does not have an on button, play it with them.  Happy Holidays and a safe New Year to all.

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