Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Suicide 



     My apologies for not having written in a long time.  In the past several weeks I have been asked by many patients and friends about suicide, stemming, of course, by the shock and sadness so many feel regarding the recent suicide of Robin Williams.  There are, of course, many books written about suicide and there are just as many theories.  Bottom line, people commit suicide for many different reasons, and typically when they reach a point where the emotional pain is unbearable and suicide seems like the only answer.  Most suicides are not about anyone but the person feeling the pain.  It is not about being selfish or punishing.  I have met some wonderful people who have struggled with suicidal thoughts and desires for many years and have fought against those desires, only to succumb later in life.  Some people make several attempts before they are successful, and this is just not a good prognostic sign.
  For many of these hurting people, it is only a matter of time.  Other people make only one attempt and it is successful.  If you love someone who has committed suicide, it is not your fault.  Don’t let the survival guilt ruin the rest of your life.  I have learned over the past 30 years that is someone is determined to kill themselves, there is not anything you can really do to stop them.  That being said, there are some people who do use the threat of suicide to both punish and control in a relationship.  Most of us have probably heard a story of a boyfriend or girlfriend or even a spouse who threatens to kill themselves if their partner leaves.  This is the ultimate manipulation and not a reason to stay in a toxic relationship.  Those few people who kill themselves in order to hurt someone else are experiencing extremely dysfunctional thinking, and no one is responsible for what another person does or does not do. If someone you know or love threatens suicide, call 911 and report it no matter what they threaten.  If it is a manipulative bluff, call the bluff and after a few days in the psychiatric hospital, they will be much less likely to bluff with suicide threats again.  If they do mean to make a gesture, gestures can go wrong and they need to be in a safe place, cared for by professional.  So once again, call 911.  And if they are truly suicidal, do not hesitate to call 911 and get them some professional help.  For many truly suicidal individuals, it is the loss and lack of hope that finally pushes them over the emotional cliff.  This may surprise some of you, but there are also a lot of people who engage in suicidal ideation but will not kill themselves as they have enough strength left to know they will hurt someone they love and they just do not want to do that.  Sometimes a loved pet is enough to help someone hold on.  But even with deterrents, if the pain becomes too overwhelming, the person you love may feel it is their only way out of that pain.  You can’t stop them, but you can forgive them for hurting you and forgive yourself for not saving them.




We hope you enjoyed reading our blog.  Please like us on Facebook and share our blog with others.  We also would appreciate your comments and we are happy to consider your ideas for topics we can address in our blog.


No comments:

Post a Comment