My Relationship is Comfortable, But Stale

I love my wife/husband, but…… I hear this on a weekly basis.  Sometimes relationships become stale due to predictability and sometimes due to the focus being on children and not on the couple.  If you have been together long enough to become predictable, first, congratulations.  Second, talk with your partner about stirring things up.  What did you used to like to do together and what would you like to do now?  Many times couples will tell me that they just do not have the money to do the things they would like to do.  If that applies to you, look for the free and the inexpensive things to do in your community.  For example, many communities have free or inexpensive concerts, plays and shows put on through cultural centers, monthly main street events and food tastings, etc.  Some libraries show old movies for free and you can always rent a movie and invite some friends to share the movie and some popcorn in your family room.  Parks and beaches are free and you usually only have to pay for parking.  It can be fun to sit at a marina and look at the boats.  Go to a local lake and feed the ducks.  Get a cup of coffee or tea after dinner rather than at home.  Play miniature golf or play a round of bowling.  Talk about when and how to initiate sex now that the kids are older and maybe out of the house.  If your children are young, co-opt babysitting with a friend and watch each other’s’ children once a month so you do not have to pay a babysitter.  You might decide to not even leave the house but have a nice, uninterrupted dinner plus whatever follows that. If money is not the issue, but you are in a rut, make a list with your partner of all the things you would like to check out that are both local and maybe involve some travel.

Check in to a hotel for a weekend close to home if you do not want to travel.  Play strip poker with each other and see where that leads.  It is up to you to be creative and invite your partner to be creative with you.
Try a restaurant you have never tried or anything else you have not tried.  You may decide to go kayaking or go to a local museum.  Maybe you will join a walking or bicycle club together or possibly work with a personal trainer together.  Maybe you can take a class together and work on a project together.   Whatever it is that you decide to do, shake it up and make a concerted effort to do the things on your couples bucket list.

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