New Relationship:  Am I Moving Too Fast?

 In a new relationship, what is too fast and what is too slow.  Some people believe in love at first sight and some people believe one must grow in to love.  Whether you are moving too fast or too slow depends on the two people involved.  However, that being said, there are some general guidelines that might help you.  As you become intrigued with someone, you need to take a closer look at who this person is.  How does this person talk about their ex if they have one, their children, boss, parents?  Do they have friends?  Is everything in their life someone else’s fault or can they take ownership of their choices?  If you have children, do they accept you as a package and are they willing to develop a positive relationship with your children while also respecting the parental boundaries of the other parent?  This works both ways.  If they have children, you need to develop a positive relationship with their children.  If you both have children, be prepared to work on blending the family.  Discuss discipline and have a plan for parenting both sets of children so the children perceive the house rules as equal and fair.  How does this person deal with frustration and anger?  Does their reaction match the crime or do they over react?  Are you able to approach them and talk about anything?  Are they possessive of you or are they willing to share?  Are they supportive of you maintaining your prior relationships with friends and family or do they seem to want to separate you from your past and your support system?  How do they handle their finances and are they even willing to discuss finances with you?  If they are moving too fast for you, are they willing to slow down and match your pace?  If not, there may be some control or impulsive issues to consider.  As you climb each step of the relationship path, do it together and with your eyes open.  Deciding on a life partner is one of the most important decisions you will ever make in your life.  Finding a new partner is easy, finding the right partner is the challenge.

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