Being Single is not a Crime

 Some people embrace being single and others find it scary and lonely.  Which category you fit into depends on your outlook and interpretation of what single means.  If you interpret single as meaning alone, lonely, and unwanted, just waiting for life to start, then you will most likely experience a host of negative emotions.  However, if you look at single as just where your life is right now and accept and embrace it, you will most likely live richly.  Whether single or in a relationship, it is your responsibility to make your life have meaning.   You have to be the proactive person in guiding your life.  Reach out to people by doing the things you like and exploring activities you think you might be interested in.  Join a club or an organization, take up a sport, and go to events in your community. 

You are more likely to meet someone with similar interests if you do the things you like.  Also, as you gain in confidence you are more likely to meet someone else who is healthy and confident.  Whatever you do, don’t settle.  Selecting a life partner is one of the most important decisions you will ever make in your life.  Do you really want to spend your life with someone you don’t really love or respect?  That would be so unfair to both of you.  Patients often ask me, “What if I never meet anyone?”  If you never meet anyone you want to spend your life with, accept it and go on and make your life amazing.  When you work on expanding and enjoying your life and bringing meaning to your life, so may opportunities will open up to you that you probably can’t even imagine right now. If you are embarrassed or ashamed about being single, challenge those negative thoughts.  The best way to challenge those thoughts is to look for evidence in your own life to support the meaning your life has.  Make a list of things you want to experience and places you want to visit.  You have to be the one to make your life worth living, not someone else.

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