When You Feel Betrayed at Work

How do you deal with an unexpected betrayal at work?  The same way you deal with any betrayal.  First you look to see what you may have contributed to the conflict.  For example, were you harsh or overbearing in some way.  Then you look to see what the other person may have contributed to any conflict.  If you see a contribution on either side and the other person does not want to attempt resolution, then their reaction is about them and not you.  If you feel there was no conflict, then the betrayal may have been fear and/or avoidance, or may have been an enabled sense of entitlement or even a combination of the two.  There are some situations when we may be too nice, have not set firm boundaries, and the other person mistakes our kindness for weakness.  Even when a staff member promises and commits to something, that is not necessarily going to be your reality.  When someone does not live up to their commitment, it is their integrity that is in question and you need to thank them for letting you know now what they are really about.  Even if this is a fleeting time in their life, it is not all right to take advantage of another person and their good will.  For example, in my office, two weeks after hiring someone she became pregnant, did not have an easy time, and was allowed to work the hours that were best for her and her health.  After having the baby, we waited for her to be ready to return to work, gave her the options of part time or full time and even let her bring her baby to work.  When she subsequently moved an hour away, we let her decide what time her day would start and how many hours a week she wanted to work.  The only thing we asked was that she come in when she said she would, and to give us 2 to 3 weeks’ notice if she decided the commute was too much.  How were we rewarded?  She just did not show up for work on Monday, no notice, and no response to our attempts to communicate with her.  Her abandonment of her job was about her even though it hurt her and made things more difficult for us.  I would like to thank her for letting us know that she is not who she presented herself to be and to make room for the possibility of a new staff member who is committed, creative, and lives by the rule of integrity in all things.  If you have had a similar experience of feeling betrayed at work, share it with us and let us know how you handled it.

We hope you enjoyed reading our blog.  Please like us on Facebook and share our blog with others.  We also would appreciate your comments and we are happy to consider your ideas for topics we can address in our blog.